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"I’m the best there is at what I do: screwing up my life."

"Our Final Jeopardy Category is “People Who Want to Kill us and Why.” DooDooDooDoo♪DooDooDoo♪"

theperksofbeinga-cunt:

jonnovstheinternet:

In Romania they have box Vodka.

imageimage

It’s 37.5% and it comes with a fucking straw.

X


"Well, you see, I figure it’s more sporting if I give him thirty or forty chances to kill me first."

"That’s okay… Stupidity should be painful."

"I wouldn’t do that. Even if you’re a lot faster than you look, you’re going to get a shaft through a very tender part of your anatomy."

"Haven’t you learned anything yet? Think about your own life—everything you’ve done to keep your secret safe. You don’t just wear the mask for yourself. It’s for your wife… your parents… even for—one day—your children. There are animals out there. And when it comes to family, we can’t always be there to defend them. But the mask will."

"Perfect timing. I think their arms are tired from hitting me."

"Wow! And me without my anti-tank arrow."

"I’m not kidding myself. I know the reality of the situation. The reality is that people like me don’t have children. We are children. Dressed up and playing cowboys and Indians with real bullets and real arrows. But there’s a part of me that really wants to believe I’d give it all up—just to be a mother."